IT Specialist

Speaker 0 00:00:12 I everyone. Welcome. Welcome back. You're listening to autism on shift, where we talk to other autistic people about what we do for work. Thanks for joining us. Here we go. Speaker 1 00:00:27 So today we are talking to Scott Scott. Hi Scott. Welcome Scott is an it specialist. We are really excited to talk to Scott about his job and also his theories on neurodiversity. So we're happy to have you, Scott. Thank you. Thank Speaker 2 00:00:44 You very much. Thanks for having us. Hi there. Yes. From luckily England is a bit different accent to what you're used to. You can be a multinational corner of like podcasts here. Can't you? Speaker 1 00:01:00 So tell us what your job is like, tell us what it is you do and what a day looks like Speaker 2 00:01:04 For you. Uh, basically my job title is, um, it specialist and that is, it probably sounds more posh than what it is. Um, I don't like it when people call me an it specialist. Um, it, no, no, no, no. That's my job title. Um, but yeah, I, I found it very odd that I'm the only person, um, where I work that has that job title and I would like it changed, but some part of me goes I'm special. I'm different to everyone else. But yeah, basically what that involves is, um, I'm in an it department for local government and basically I deal with it and it issues for everyone that works in that government office and all of the counselors. So you've got all the members of staff that are working around our town. Um, we've also got all the counselors that are also representing their areas because they all have it equipment, but we have a lot of other systems as well, because as you might want to have in your couldn't shoot what you have. Speaker 2 00:02:07 We have tax system, we have housing system. Um, we've got like licensing systems for taxis. Um, we've got the tomatoes for, for people that pass on to the next life. Um, you know, we've got work services unit that deal with like the bin lorries and things, you know, there's, there's all sorts of different areas and it all comes down to computers and it, and that comes back to us and that's what we do. We cover all of those areas. So what makes my job differ to a normal it person is I'm a techie side of the job. It's not a case of pulling the paper out of the printer. Um, I'm the one that was set up the printing system on the backend. Okay. So when you see that printer come up on your printer list, that's connecting to the print server system in the backend. Speaker 2 00:02:57 We have to, you know, installed the service from scratch and, and set up policies and push it out to all the computers. So you can see it, you know, and plus we have a Citrix system as well. So we've got a virtual desktop system there, which people are loving too. We've got laptops that people lock on remotely web. So when that goes down, where you have to get them going again, it's very, very broad and very diverse. And when it gets technical, that's when it hits my seat. So when the first line of support can't deal with it with that quick and easy questions, it's a very interesting job. It can be a very tiresome job, a very taxing job. Um, yes, I have my own number in the office that people can phone from outside of the office. And once people know that you're capable of what you're doing, they make note of that number and they continuously phone you. Um, so there is a frustrating, Speaker 3 00:03:51 There's a lot of cell phones out there with the names, Scott I T guy or something like that, you know, it's like, Speaker 2 00:03:57 Yeah, I'll tell you. I loved the day when I moved teams, they changed my, um, my phone extension on my desk. And it was amazing because they put the apprentice on my old number and I walked around the building and I could see little post-it notes everywhere on people's phones would they'd write my number down. And they put, oh, extension 8, 5 0 5 Scott. And then, then about a week later, they'll walking around the building again, Scott, you changed your number because every time I phone this number, I keep getting this girl called Lauren and she doesn't know who you are. It's just like, it's great. Yes. And I'm not telling you what Speaker 3 00:04:36 Can you imagine? How much more I can get done when you don't call that number? Oh Speaker 2 00:04:40 Yeah, it was brilliant. It was brilliant. I used to be on the service desk, but triple his arms put on there to support the other people on the service desk because they're not as adept and skilled as I was. And so they're all busy making notes, but the trouble is people wanted to speak to me because I don't want it to be diagnosed for half an hour. They will do fixed in two minutes. So they'd want to speak to me because I just jumped straight. I'll go. Yep. Sorted, because I don't want the distraction. I just want to get on with my day. So, so it was fun, but it can be incredibly frustrating at the same time. So yeah. It's it's yeah. It's, it's a wonderful, I love it. I see it as a hobby rather than a job, I'll go into a can. Speaker 2 00:05:23 It's just the hours goodbye. And it's just like, yeah, some days I'd walk home or come home and think, I don't think I've achieved anything today. Other days I'll hit something that's been really technical and difficult to get through. And I feel like I've achieved something big, but it's um, yeah, every, every day is different. So I can't say it's boring. It's the same thing. Every day is different every day. I mean, it's, it's not, you don't go in and have to do filing, keep filing things. I've done those jobs after my apprenticeship. You can keep those, Speaker 1 00:05:57 You've paid your dues. You got to start somewhere. Speaker 3 00:06:01 I imagine with all those different places that you named you do, do a lot of traveling from building to building to, or do you mostly do it remotely? I Speaker 2 00:06:11 Do it remotely. Well, we do it remotely as best we can. There's there's times when you can't, but it's in the same town. So I tend to use it as an excuse to leave the building, but it's um, because it's, it's nice to get out and see other people, especially in the last 12 months where not many people come into the office, it's nice to see a new face, um, where my office used to be full of about 20 odd people. There's three of us now, so it's nice to see people, but it's nice to have that space and time. So yeah, I'll travel around. It's not far, so it's nice to get a break from it. Sure. That makes sense. That's cool. Speaker 1 00:06:48 Nice. So how did you start, um, did you go to school for computer science? I know you have like a, you know, you mentioned a lot of different jobs in your history, which is fascinating. Um, you sound like me. Can you tell us like the progression of how you got where you are? Speaker 2 00:07:03 Basically, I've done all sorts of jobs and it's all I put it down to fate. It's, you're either gonna have those jobs or you're not, it's not, you can, you can try as hard as you want trying to get the job that you'd like, but you might find off the getting it, that it isn't for you. Um, I originally wanted to be a car designer, I to design houses and cars. Awesome. And then I wanted to be, well, bodies is when you're at school, you, you have to pick a job that you're interested in. And me being me, I just picked the one that paid the most. Um, it wasn't barrister when I was 13. I get paid loads of money. Yeah, no, I don't want to do that. But, um, I think you've got about 13, 14, and my dad went to college. He was made unemployed and he went to college and he was doing computers. Speaker 2 00:07:52 And of course I'd had a computer since I was four. I mean, I'm 45 now. So, you know, I've lived with these things around me, something with computers just clicked. It. It's just logical. It's a sequence, it's a set of rules and it's, it's governed by you. So there's the control aspect of it. And it just clicked with me. And I think when I was going to college, I chose to do computing and it was, for me, it just worked for me. Um, when I did my, my college courses. And then I decided to go off to university and do a computer science degree, which I had to come out of halfway through because it was just too much. Obviously this was way before I even had any idea, you know, we, we didn't have Asperger's and ADHD is that they could give you. So yeah, I was kind of fighting with, with my mind with things. Speaker 2 00:08:45 And so I changed my course, um, and my dad sadly passed away and that kind of threw it in, you know, through masses of your head as well. So I completely to a different computer course and I just took off from there. Um, the difficulty has always been though, is this, this vicious circle is you need to get into the it fields and your experience, but you can't get experience if you're not in the it field. Right. And by the time you come out of university or college, the qualifications you've got are old because it evolves so fast and computer courses are inherently quite expensive. So yeah, the ones that you need to have, you know, to do these jobs. So basically over the years I got into where I am now, um, effectively through, uh, working in a school, I got a job in the school as an it technician. Speaker 2 00:09:39 Um, just go out and fixing printers and helping children. Um, and I did that for 11 years to be fair. And I loved it. The kids made different every day. It was fun, exciting, you know, you could show them cool, interesting things and then push your knowledge. Cause I'd always try and play games at break time, or they go to sites that they're not meant to get on. And, and, and so I put things in place to test them and then they'd figure ways out that you'd have to work. I had to stop them from doing it. Um, and I loved it. I really got out with the kids a great deal, but it was just when you work in education, you you're stuck in this trench. And it's diff the difference between public and the private sector and education. And the rest of the world is, is night and day. Speaker 2 00:10:27 You know, once you start working in the school to get out of, there is completely different. The systems I use in public and private sector are completely different to the education sector, but I built my base or my experience and my approach to things. So my approach to problems is so much different when you're a computer. It both, you can get too deeply into the technical aspect of things, but you forget who you're supporting. So the people at the other end of a telephone, for example, they don't know what you're talking about. So you can be as techie as you want. They have no idea. They just know they push a button and it switches on that's all they know. So I think that's what I was working in the schools. It was a case of you, you stepped back, you stood behind the students and you were explained to them how to do things. Speaker 2 00:11:23 And that's when you realize what you didn't know, because when you do it, you're very used to finding things out for yourself. You've got a good idea. There's rules that you follow, you know, where the safe option is, you know, where the inset option is, you know how to do this study other you step back and you try and explain that to someone and without clicking on anything. And it, and I think that's where you learned to cut your teeth. How would you explain it to someone? Um, there was a period of time before I started working at schools. I was working on the phone and that is incredibly hard because you're working because you're working blind and you don't know what they're looking at. Cause everyone customizes their own computers at home. So you don't know what they're seeing, that you don't know what they're interpreting and they'll explain things to you in a different way to the next person. So, yeah. Yeah. I heard Speaker 1 00:12:19 Also that, um, like you can know something all the way as deep as you can possibly know something and then you don't fully know it until you're able to teach it to someone else. Yeah. Is that true? Speaker 2 00:12:36 Yeah. I think when you, when someone comes up to me and says, Scott, this isn't, this isn't working and you get to the point where I'm, where I'm at the minute where you just say, um, I don't want to do this anymore. You're more than capable of, and there's often, there's a thousand things and I think to speak to you, there's an echo. And for some reason it just doesn't get retained by you. Um, so I go and stand next to them and I'll explain to them and take them through it because learning for me is by doing, you can read all the books in the world, but unless you physically do it, then you're not really gonna understand how it is in the real world and get, you know, actually learn how to do it yourself because they might click on submit and a message comes up that you've never seen before. And you're like, oh, I never had that. But you with your deducting skills will be able to disarm their anxiety and say, well, actually just ignore that. It's not relevant. It comes up again. Just ignore it. Speaker 1 00:13:35 If you could maybe just kind of re um, just retell us that thing that we talked about before we started recording about, um, you know, the, the different, um, aspects of between Asperger's and ADHD and how, how they fight each other and what you intend to do about it. That was really cool to hear. And I'd love to have that from this place. Speaker 2 00:13:58 It's only been in the last, well, I, I got referred by my doctor in December last year, um, for Asperger's and then it was only because the way I was talking to someone on Facebook that they said, oh, you've, you've definitely got ADHD. It's like, don't be tough. You know, you only have that. If you see kids bouncing off the wall, that's what the H stands for. And it didn't really occur to me. It's just like, actually, uh, yeah, easily distracted can't sleep. Um, can't focus on anything. Um, yeah, I'm taking a lot of these boxes, so of course I've, I've kind of done an online test for it and it says, yep, you've got ADHD and I'm sitting Lugo, Schaeffer, Dallas, another expense because ADHD isn't the same as an autism test. It's completely separate thing. So that's an additional now I, the way I've seen it, and the way it's worked for me last year was a tricky year for me because it hit me hard cause of COVID. Speaker 2 00:15:00 Um, was that the way I see ADHD and Asperger's is ADHD allows me to jump around and do lots of different things and multitask is a distraction. So I can, I've got a very busy mind. Asperger's allows me to have depth. So sort of ADHD allows me to jump around and get distracted. Um, but the way it affects the Asperger's, it doesn't allow me to get any depth on anything that I start because my brain loses track of what it's doing or loses focus, and suddenly I'm distracted and something else comes up putting up I'm off doing something else. So I'm not the sort of person that could be in the middle of someone on my computer, have someone come in, say, Scott, this isn't working in the office upstairs. I can go up and fix that, come back and be completely lost track of what I'm doing. Speaker 2 00:15:50 Right. Um, and, and that's, that for me is a very difficult thing. Whereas, you know, if, if I control the ADHD, then I've got a focus. I can go straight back to where I left off and go straight back to the depth that I was at w ADHD isn't afford me that it's. And th th the crazy thing is ADHD is a medicated disorder. So that in itself is quite expensive, but I, because of the way it affects the Asperger's. If, if I get the ADHD medicated, then the Asperger's then kicks in and my ability to focus, and the depth that I focus at is really my superpower, because I, you know, I've, I've, this is written naughty. Um, I tried medications that someone had left over. Um, I only found out recently, someone else in the office has got ADHD on my team. Um, and he's younger than I am. Speaker 2 00:16:44 And he's, medication's just being changed. And he's well off. I've got this some concerts, or you can try that, but warning, now you try it in the morning. You don't take it after lunchtime because you won't sleep. Okay. Try one of them tablets and wow. The difference was night and day. Yeah. And I think it's my brain wasn't bursting everywhere. And it's kind of weird because my dad was diagnosed with schizophrenia and looking back now, because, because I understand more about ADHD and Asperger's, I don't think it was schizophrenia. I think it was ADHD. And because of his age, he wouldn't have been diagnosed or even wouldn't have even been considered. He would have had that. Cause I kind of think, well, where have I got it from? It's not like, well done, Scott, you've been blessed for this. We've run out of all the other skills. Speaker 2 00:17:33 So there's a bit of ADHD and Asperger. Um, so yeah, so it's kind of a where I forgot this from, because it's genetic because my son's got autism and I'm like, well, he's got that from somewhere. And it normally follows it. I'm like, well, yeah, because the thing is with these, some of these conditions, you can, you, they can get out of hand very quickly. If, if not diagnosed at the right age. Now, I think you can struggle as a parent to deal with that. And not that we struggle with my eldest who's nine because he's on the spectrum. And he only got diagnosed two years ago, but we had a long time wondering what all these meltdowns were, what all these ticks were, what, what was going on in his head, why didn't like loud noises and stuff. Well, where, where am I getting all this from? And of course, when he was diagnosed at the time you get asked the question, does anybody else got anything in your family? And no, not that I know of. Speaker 3 00:18:28 Not that I was diagnosed. Speaker 2 00:18:29 Yeah. And I think what it is is over the years, I developed so many coping strategies and masks so well that, of course it didn't occur to me that I had all these things going on. Um, obviously I had the busy mind. I've always had a busy mind. I've never been able to sleep. I went to the doctors, they give you sleeping pills. I took one woke up the next day, feeling like a truck had run over me. No thanks. I'm not doing that. That's the wrong medication. So I've just had to deal with it. But things Speaker 1 00:19:01 You get tested about medication. I have, my theory is this, if it is the right medication, it doesn't feel like anything. Right? Like if it's right, you don't ha I don't want to say there's no such thing as side effects because that, that would be misrepresenting. What, what, I'm what I'm saying, I guess. But like, for me, for example, uh, you know, for my anxiety medication, um, there was, I tried probably four different ones. Um, but every single one of them made me a complete zombie until I was, um, uh, until I was prescribed Valium and Valium feels like nothing. It feels like just the, just the anxiety is gone. I'm not tired. I'm not different. I'm not strange. I don't feel weird. I feel like myself, but now not anxious. So I feel like if a medication is right, you actually do. Speaker 3 00:19:50 I hear that because I don't remember. I had to get a cat scan. And like I was in, I realized that at this point, when I started going through that hole, that I was a very, uh, um, what's that word kind of claustrophobic. I didn't know until I got into the hole, I said, ah, no, I have take me out of here. So I had to get like an open, uh, open cat scan. And they had given me a value. And boy, I was loopy. You were, I've never seen you. So similarly, normally silly. I am normally, so I don't remember any of it, but I remember being thorough telling me, boy, you were silly, you know, clearly, uh, that, uh, that theory is right. Speaker 2 00:20:34 I think it comes down to like, what do you, what do you have issues with? What issues does it create for your job? Well, I'm impatient. I don't deal with fluffy people. I can't deal with people that, that go all around subject, but don't tell you exactly what the problem is. Islam has just given me the laptop. I do it himself. You know, because I can't deal with, with people that give you fluffy response. It's just tell me yes or no. I don't do gray area communication. No, everyone's working from a distance now. And they don't respond to you in a timely way. You can't phone people because they either they're busy or they make themselves out to be busy. So I've had incredible frustration with responses from people. And that, for me, I've raged in the office at work to the point. I had a proper meltdown one day and the other two people in the office must be thinking, what on earth is going on? I said, I said, this was back in June. Last is, I swear to God I've got Aspergers or something. I'm either getting more clever or everyone else is getting more thick. And I don't think I'm getting more. Speaker 2 00:21:44 It was getting fluffy. I've never heard Speaker 1 00:21:47 Fluff, but I love it. And it's perfect. Speaker 2 00:21:54 I don't do fluffy. I just do straight to the point. I'll tell you what I don't Speaker 3 00:21:59 Direct. And it seems clear that you you'd probably communicate well, which would be very difficult to dealing with other people who are, you know, beat around the Bush and are not direct. And thorough is my, uh, my helper here, because without her, you know, she, you know, I I'll talk. And then she'll say that what the pain is and I'll say, yes, that, that's what I was trying to say. Thank you for that. So that is, that makes sense. Speaker 2 00:22:21 But I have that obstacle as well. I'm very articulate when it comes to emails and written stuff. Cause I've got time to think and process it. Plus I can go over. I recap recap, recap. It takes me ages to write an email, but I'll go over that many times it has to flow has to use the right words. It has to say the right thing, it us to be direct and get to the point. I can't do that in a conversation on the phone. Oh, I'll become this fluffy person that says everything else apart from what the problem is. And it's just like, no, that's not what you need to know it. You need to know what what's, what's it doing? I don't know. I can see it. Uh, my brain's processing it and I've got an idea of what to do, but I can't tell you, Speaker 3 00:23:08 Uh, speaking of when you, when you bring this up and, uh, it makes me wonder how the interview process for this job went, uh, for you, which, you know, was it more fluffy, you know, coming out or was it more directed? Speaker 2 00:23:21 Oh man. Uh, Teo, we w we, it was the one for the counselors was interesting. Cause they like, they liked the whole team building things. You, they want to see how you work with the people. I work great with other people, other people working with me that I don't get on. Well, no, I don't mind you working me, but just understand you have to do it my way. Um, cause I don't agree with what you say, um, or you'll be doing something and you won't do it the way that I'll do it. So I agree with what you're doing, but I won't agree with the way that you were doing it. Um, but yeah, the, the, the one with the counselor was great. Cause we had to work in a team of two or three of us. So we were given a pile of straws and we're given some tape or some plasticine or something. Speaker 2 00:24:11 We had to build a structure that would hold something like a roll of tape or something. Um, uh, see, you had to discuss with the other people in your team that you didn't have a clue who they were. Um, you know, what, what sort of was the best idea of what you think is the best reason and why you test things out and then you'd each be given a job to do. So kind of that sort of thing was like, well, I've been an it manager before, so I can delegate tasks, but I've always been a little bit edgy about it because I don't want to upset people and that's always been my problem. I don't want to mess, I don't want to annoy anyone, but I'm just going to have to give you this horrible job that I don't want to do. Speaker 2 00:24:54 But yeah. Um, and it's not that I wouldn't do it myself. It's just that I can't be bothered to do it myself because I've done it for so many years. But, uh, but yeah, and I had to do, um, I, uh, we had to sit in footnote, the boss or the boss man of the whole council and, and have a, an imaginary kind of support call of somebody. Oh, that's very strange almost when you say from this one, that's your boss. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, just have a chat where you haven't got a clue, but you know, I won't go with it. Um, but I think it's kind of a, not one that you would kind of sat with people that are competing with you and you're working with them. And, and I struggled with that. To some extent, there's always a level of anxiety that you take to job interviews because you know, that you're good enough for the job, but it's like that bow and arrow and the targets syndrome, you only get one chance to do that. Speaker 2 00:25:46 And if you do it right, and you got to do it really well, um, you say the wrong thing in the wrong order to the wrong person, lost it. Um, it was weird. I wasn't the most experienced while I say experienced. I wasn't experienced in terms of qualifications. Um, there were people that have very up to date qualifications in their field, which, you know, you could have all the qualifications in the world, but it comes down to the way you are. Um, so if anyone else is out there doing it and you know, they want to be what your techie yeah. Learn, learn your craft. But it's your approach to things which you have to consider is your people skills is it's how you can break things down to a level that people will understand. Experience Speaker 3 00:26:34 Definitely helps you there. Speaker 2 00:26:37 Yeah. And, uh, uh, covers us come from me over time. You know, I've worked in warehouses, I've worked in the insurance industry. I've worked in supermarkets, you know, I've done so many different jobs. And I think that the best one was, um, when I worked in the warehouse doing injection molding, um, I also want to work for Kodak. I used to be a print cutter, cut in the photographs, you know, and you take it over the old 35 millimeter film. You take it into the pharmacy and you say, can you process that? Well, it'll go to my warehouse and we'd end up processing it. And I'll be sitting in your photos and putting them in the packet and sending them back. That will be what I would be doing. So I have Speaker 1 00:27:13 To ask, I'm going to interrupt for a second because I need to know what is the weirdest most interesting or whatever photo that you came across when you did that? Speaker 2 00:27:25 Well, the digital revolution is, took the fun out of it to be fair. Um, yeah, what the most we used to get. So many people think it was great to put a cat in the sink and take a picture of it or they think, oh, this would be great. They'd pick up their baby. And they put the baby in the sink and take the phones off it. Oh, there's this obsession with putting things in sinks and taking pictures. And it was just bizarre. There's another one that do that. Just do some run random stuff. It's just their time and attempt to put the dog in the bath, which no dog ever wants to go in the forest and he'd McEnroe mess and so on to be stood down over the shore and taken a picture and we'd always get them that they like a daily occurrence of getting those random pictures of pets and people in sinks and baths. Speaker 3 00:28:19 That's hilarious. I just watched a video yesterday and that, that does change everything. Having the internet, you know, now it's like, uh, you know, I'm 43, right. 4 43 and 45. And I can call you old for the rest of the year. Um, but it was, uh, you know, so yeah, that's changed everything cause we didn't have all that. So it was in these pictures, but uh, just recently I watched a video the other day. I was like, you know how to get your dog to take a bath. And they like took peanut butter and put it on this side of the tub to the dog came in is licking up the peanut butter and they're giving the dog a bath, you know? And then the peanut butter has gone. It had like, you know, the captions, like now the dog's like, where's the peanut butter. Wait, what happened to me? Speaker 2 00:29:04 That's pretty good. Actually the caption should be. And because we used to look at, cause you look at the animals faces and the animal's face says everything and it's not, I'm loving this. The question is why, why, if you put me in the scene, I never go in the sink. You don't even jump on the sideboard to eat anything, but you've put me in the sink. Speaker 3 00:29:31 They didn't like, as they noticed, as their pet got older, it likes to have their picture taken less and less. Like they know what's going on. They're like, all right, we've done this before. Can you just leave for goodness sake? Speaker 1 00:29:44 The one exception to the rule? I believe it was. I want to say either my cousin or one of my friends just posted a picture of her cat who goes intentionally into the tub because she likes the acoustics of her Meow. Speaker 2 00:29:59 Oh, that's funny. It's like a singing cat. Speaker 1 00:30:05 Yeah. She was describing like the, like watching the, the cat actually realize she actually watched the cat like accidentally, you know, do this little run thing and Meow while she was in the, in the tub and just kind of pause and like, did it again? Wait, I'm good. It's a cultural experience and I love it. All right. So, um, I guess, uh, back on track while there, so it was getting more serious. I'm sorry. So what, are there some examples of something that your boss maybe either already does or that you're looking for your boss to do after your diagnosis that would help support you at your job Speaker 3 00:30:53 Accommodations or something? Yeah, Speaker 2 00:30:56 For me, no. Um, it's more for me it's more of a tick box exercise to say, yes, I've got this. And if anyone wants to add and just start saying, Scott, you shouldn't say that. I just did. And this is, this is the piece of paper. So why, um, Nick can go away. I have to look at your face. So you go Speaker 3 00:31:24 Now, do you think that changes? And I'm going to let you answer still. I apologize. But do you think it changes because you're older and you've dealt with and done enough masking and, and, and have your ways of dealing with who you are and, and how to accommodate your own way through things you think that changes for you? Like as opposed to maybe someone younger who's uh, yeah, Speaker 2 00:31:47 I think for me, I've, I've done enough jobs worked with enough different people and know how to, I think I've kind of got the experience of how to deal with different types of people. My, my biggest asset is I read people. Um, and so this is why I'm saying the COVID and the distance working thing is for me is a nightmare because I read people the way they are, the way they talk, the way they get, they stand there, their attitude, everything you can, you can tell how someone is. Yeah. Not by what they say, but what they don't say. And for me, that's my protection mechanism. That's the way I stop myself saying things that I possibly shouldn't do because I kind of put my feelers out and say things in a certain way, get a response. And then I know to back off. Speaker 2 00:32:39 Um, so for me, that's the way I've dealt with over the years, you know, I've done lots of different jobs, which for me is, is also my strength because, um, I've got lots of skills from different areas that I can now put into my job. Now I've got people skills. I can talk to people. Um, I don't like being in a room, lots of people, but I don't know. So, you know, anxiety working in the school, doing an assembly when you've got 300 kids looking at you at the same time, you know, if you want to be judged, do that. Um, but, but yeah, with work, it tends to be old because I've got this thing in my head. There's a lot, I get anxious, I've got anxiety as well. I've got OCD. So it's a case of, I am really fussy about environments, how things should be laid out, how things should be done. Speaker 2 00:33:34 Um, but I'll get anxious about a lot of things about what I've said, how I've done things, how I've come across to people. So I'll do a lot of evaluate. And after it was after I've had it me in, or did I say this the right way? Did I come across the white way? Was, was I saying it in the manner, which they didn't think I was an idiot? You know, was I being offensive? Was I too brutal with them because I can be very straight to the point. So, so for me, you know, all those skills from all those different years, working in different places with my age, I can, you know, I don't need to be the most skilled person that work in the world. My approach to things is what people are after. Um, you know, your work ethic, your approach to things. Speaker 2 00:34:20 It's, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Um, so you, you can be very technical person, but if you don't say it in the right way, then you're of no use to anyone. Um, plus people have enough anxieties as it is, and you have to be at, to disarm that, um, people have, especially recently got problems with seeing people. They've got problems with being around people. And the last thing we'll do is switch the computer. I'd have a shit load of issues that just feeds the anxiety. You know, they've just had a letter come through the door that they've got to deal with their kids off sick, or, you know, the jobs just told them, they've got, they've got something going on. They're going to change departments. They've got all that going on. The last thing they want is for you to be techie and be really anal and horrible about something, which you could make their job easier. Um, so it doesn't take much to be nice to people just say, don't worry about it or sort it that's my problem. Yeah. Now, if Speaker 3 00:35:16 You were, if you were 20 again, would you know, and, you know, knowing what you know now, would there be accommodations that you would have asked for at 20, Speaker 2 00:35:26 Uh, at university? Yes. Um, cause exams in university are hard. Yes. And especially when you've got ADHD and you have no idea why your brain is buzzing all over the place. Why are you anxious for, why are you anxious on a level that you don't even want to walk into the exam room? You know? And I remember that dictators an awful lot of my outcome from uni. So for me, if I knew, then what I knew now, then yes, full on, not go and get it diagnosed and treated then, because I think for, I plus I'd be in a better place than what I am now. I'm really grateful for it, for the position I'm in now, I've got a really supportive team and they understand, and we're always helping each other, but maybe I'd be in a better paid position than what I am now in doing a completely different job. Speaker 2 00:36:18 Um, because I've got, I could have got the grades because I could have focused on my exams because I was terrible across the nation. And it was a case of, you know, you're, you've got your paper that she went in two weeks, oh, it's two weeks. I'll leave it for a week. I'll be fine. I know what I'm doing. And then you realize that week that everyone else wants this done that week as well. And you're like, oh God, I can't do this. And you shut down. Um, so yeah, I'd love to, I'd love to have had this diagnosed when I was in my teens and, and maybe everything would have been a lot easier than what it is now, but what they have to understand is there are other people in the council and other walks of life that have these conditions that they don't know that they've got them. You got to think, Speaker 3 00:37:07 You also got to think, uh, you know, it changes, uh, generational, you know, with that, you know, your dad may be being diagnosed, you know, but having your son diagnosed and then having you diagnosing them, you know, as generations go, then it becomes a family of say, Hey, have you had anybody in the family with such and such? And you said, well, yes, I have a whole history, you know? And it makes it easier for people later on in life, your grandchildren, you know what I mean? It's, which is kind of a neat thing, not even Speaker 1 00:37:36 Just in the family unit, but also like, um, you know, radiating outward, you know, uh, in, in the bigger scheme of things in society, you know, more and more people, you know, being diagnosed more and more people knowing early enough and more people understanding what it is, um, I think would just make everybody's lives better. Not just ours. Absolutely. No, that's fair. That's very true. Speaker 2 00:38:00 I think for me, I can see it now in my kids better. And I always was able to deal with, um, children that had needs or, or were seen as just annoying and frustrating. It's like, no, they're not annoying, frustrating. And they're annoying and frustrating because you've got this vision of what they should be like and how they should respond to you. But when you step back from that and actually spend some time with them, understand exactly how they're thinking and why they're thinking like that. But it's, um, I can pick up now and see things in, in my kids that I never seen before. And I think it's only because of my experience. I appreciate now they're like the loud noises and the disruption and people changing things last minute. And yeah, I hate that, hate that. And I now understand why my eldest son hated that, you know, I understand that my five-year-old could be on the way to having that. So, but, but you know what to look for and you can deal with it now. He's not waiting 45 years. Right. He's five. So you know what, you're, you know, you're, you're making sure that his life is going to be a lot easier than yours is. And that for me is priceless. Speaker 1 00:39:16 I don't give our kids a better life than we had. Yeah. It's Speaker 3 00:39:20 A, it's almost like you wouldn't want to really change your life at this point because you know, more by having gone through something, uh, you know, you know what I mean, where you can do more for people and of course, um, even, yeah, Speaker 1 00:39:32 Yeah. But you know, uh, but you know that we're going to fight for those things to happen for our kids younger than that's true. Absolutely. Speaker 2 00:39:42 It comes down to what I said before. It's not, it's not what you say. It's how you say it. You're delivering the same thing, but you're doing it in a way that, that works for the person that you're dealing with. Be it your son, your, you know, your children or other family members or people that you work with. You, you have to sit down and work out the sort of people they are and kind of tailor what you're going to deliver to how they're going to benefit from it. And that's what I've always got time for people always got to have people you don't doesn't matter how much you can pay people. My time is worth more than any money in the world. So I'll sit there, I'll spend my 10 minutes and I'll get told off doesn't matter, but your life's a little bit easier as it result. So yeah, I do too. Speaker 3 00:40:24 I find you an inspirational person. I think you're the kind of person that makes a difference for people in their lives. You know, one-on-one one person at a time, uh, you know, there's going to be people who've, you've come across where, um, they're going to say, you know, Scott, he made it, you know, he said this in my life and they, you know, later on in their lives they do something different. So I think that's fantastic. I love that. There's that those moments. Yeah, Speaker 1 00:40:50 Absolutely. Um, if you're okay, let's, let's wrap up with the million dollar question. Um, so, so given all of the things that you have learned, how to cope with all of the struggles, all of the things you've learned because of them, and then also all of the benefits, all the good things that, um, that you have that you have, just because of the way your brain works. If you could put all that into a package called a job, what would that job be? Do you know? Speaker 2 00:41:27 I don't know. I think I've done a bit. I love my job, right. Can I, I've got huge amount of control over what I do, but I know it's also in a very volatile fields. If you don't like change it, isn't for you. Um, but yeah, I've, I've recently, I've always been fascinated when I was kind of taught the psychology and the communication studies. I loved it, got the best grade of all my levels through that. Um, and I've always had this passion for psychology and I think it's, it's only in the last 12 months, two years, I've really got deeply into that because, you know, it's helping people to understand themselves. Uh, you know, I've meditated a lot in things. And why do I think like this? Why do I do that in that way? Why, why do I, and I think for me, psychology would be one area that I'd love to get into, to, to go out and, and help people understand more about why they do things a certain way. Speaker 2 00:42:30 And probably just give them coping mechanisms. I'll sit down and tell people why you could try this. Or you have, you tried that. It could be thinking a bit like this. Oh yeah. I never thought of it like that. So it's kind of helping the psychology for me. It'd be like, okay, so now I understand why I think in a certain way, why I'm doing something a certain way, I can now help others understand as well. And it's, and that way, if you don't have to, if, if you know yourself, when you know yourself, why didn't you do things a certain way? Because that's just the way, like what your why. And once you understand that you then have a tolerance, other people that do it that way, because you understand your own anxieties and issues. Um, so psychology. Yes. But yes, psychologist, I suppose for me, it is a difficult field. It, it is difficult field if you don't like change. Um, and I embrace it, but at the same time, I hate it. I mean, we've got windows 11 coming out. Oh my God. It's problems like that. That gives me anxiety because I'm like, it's gonna happen. It's not like it's not gonna happen, but that's, that's my job. That's what I'm paid to do. Um, but yes, uh, psychology, Speaker 1 00:43:45 It sounds a lot like Adam, in that way, you, you sound like, because my anxiety happens after the fact, right. I just do what I do say what I say and be who I am. And then after the fact I'm going to go, Ooh, that came across that way. Oh, did that person think? So all of my stuff is after the fact Adam's anxiety is all prior to things. So like the, the fear of the change, he knows the changes coming and he will spend three days not sleeping because he knows, he knows it's coming, but then as soon as it happens, he's like, okay, I have now, you know, shifted. And I understand what I need to do to make this change work. And then he's perfect. Speaker 3 00:44:23 Well, and I've over. Yeah. I've, over-thought it for three days and figured out every possible scenario and wrap my head completely around the change and how it's going to work. And, and, and what's good and what's bad before it's even happened. And so then when it happens, it's yeah. Speaker 1 00:44:38 It's like over-prepare and then go with the flow. Speaker 2 00:44:42 Well, I liked it. It's what I remember what the film inside out came out and it was all about how, yeah. And I kind of see it a bit, except you've got two more characters. One's called Asperger's ADHD. ADHD is a bit off the rails because he doesn't like to stay up. I want to focus on that and ADHD. No, you're not going to do that, but it needs to be done over there. Well, that's the way I kind of see it. So yeah. I get anxiety about going in for summit. Then I've got the whole, um, impulsiveness of ideas. This is just like all stuff. It just says, just go and do it anyway. You know, if they don't like it, they don't like it. And then you come out of it after thinking, oh God, I shouldn't have done that, that way. Kind of like anxiety before. It's like an anxiety sandwich anxiety. Before you go in, say everything you wanted to say in the way that you do say it and then come up, having anxiety thinking, I was just going to set him up. Speaker 1 00:45:43 I'm not sure I could do both. I would. Yeah. I'd have a really hard time if I had one, Speaker 3 00:45:48 But at least you'd be full. It's a sandwich. Yeah. That's true. Well, listen, Scott, I appreciate you being with us today. It's been awesome. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:46:01 Thank you for taking your time to chat with us. We have really enjoyed hanging out with you. Speaker 2 00:46:06 I've noticed it. The podcast is a bit longer than normal, but uh, yeah, I talk a lot, but I say it as it is, and I'll have a laugh with it. This is what I am, what I am. If you don't like it, plus fine. Plus don't make me right there. Speaker 3 00:46:17 I was going to say, no, we've had, we've had interviews now we've had interviews that have lasted, you know, almost three hours. Uh, and then they, and I edit them down to about 40 minutes, you know, because in a lot of it is, we're just hanging out, talking, you know, we get off topic and we're just having a good time. I mean, it's neat to be able to talk to people, you know, anywhere in the world and to really get to know other people like ourselves, you know, where it's, we're all, you know, we're all dealing with struggle. We're all, it's, it's this connection, this humanity that we get to interact with people. And I absolutely love it. It's, you know, I was terrified of doing this when Thor first asked me, I was like, huh. Yeah, I don't want a part of that. You know? Um, but then once we got to do it, it always feels good. There's always something that we get out of, um, uh, talking with somebody and it's brilliant. No, I love it. Is this thing on is this thing on, it looks like we lost Scott at the end of our episode, but if he was here still, he would say, bye. And he absolutely loves us. And we loved you, Scott, you were fun to talk to you. Speaker 0 00:47:27 Thanks for listening to us, everybody for being here, we'll be here again next week. Um, we do need more guests. Please come chat with us. Go to our website, carp resumes.com uh, go to the podcast page. And at the top, there's just a little two boxes, your name and your email. Thanks a lot. See you next time.